


YOU

by HaxxaMaria



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bottom Steve Rogers, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Hallucinations, M/M, Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pregnant Steve Rogers, Unrequited Love, except not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28295271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaxxaMaria/pseuds/HaxxaMaria
Summary: ".. Even when I had nothing I had Bucky."Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes met in 1922 at the ages of 4 and 5. Best friends in the schoolyard and the battlefield, the two have been inseparable since.But what if there was more to the story?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes met in 1922 at the ages of 4 and 5. Best friends in the schoolyard and the battlefield, the two have been inseparable since. But what if it was more than that? Their first kiss had been after Sarah Rogers funeral, their first date a few weeks later in the apartment they shared in the roughs of Brooklyn. All of their firsts were together, and though they could never go public with their relationship, not with the risks of being arrested or worse killed, none of that mattered because they were together.

After the ice and the fall Steve plunged himself into being Captain America. Because there was no Steve Rogers without Bucky Barnes.

And then it turned out that Bucky was alive and was brainwashed by HYDRA to be their assassin for seventy years and god did that hurt. But Bucky was alive and that was all that mattered.

He temporarily went back into cryotherapy and with the help of King T'Challa his memories were nearly all back and he was once again the Bucky Barnes that Steve grew up with. The one exception? Bucky didn't remember their relationship being anything more than a close friendship. Which was fine, as long as he was back Steve didn't care what their relationship was, because he couldn't live without him; not again.

So he went about each day, stuck in the same old rut he'd been in for the two years he had been out of the ice. He ate little, slept little and spent way too much time in the gym but so long as Bucky was okay, he didn't worry about himself.

So one night, when he was lost in his own thoughts, he was surprised when Bucky interrupted him to ask about their previous relationship.

"Steve?" Bucky threw him a bottle of water from the fridge, taking a long gulp before turning back to his friend.

"What's up, Buck?"

"Were we...back then did we sleep together?"

Steve paused, cup of coffee midway to his mouth. "Yes."

"Right. We weren't together though. Thank you. I just remembered something and couldn't figure out if it was real or not"

Steve smiled through gritted teeth.

"Can I do something? Don't freak out" And with that, his lips were on Steve's. His hands tousled the blond mans neatly styled hair and Steve reciprocated by cupping Bucky's cheeks caressing them with his thumb.

It wasn't long before the two stumbled their way into the bedroom, not parting lips as Bucky lifted Steve up and wrapped his legs around his waist.

"Are you sure about this?" Steve panted, finally breaking the kiss as Bucky gently laid him back on his bed.

"Yes. Are you?"

Steve nodded his consent as Bucky trailed kisses down the path of his neck.

And thus begun the start of Steve and Bucky.

Only, I wish I could tell you how they confessed their undying love for one another and began a beautiful relationship founded on that love. No, instead began shameless, meaningless (to one of them at least) sex. Whenever one of them needed to let off steam or after a particularly bad fight or when they just had too much pent up frustration, they sought the other out and let out the built up anger.

Natasha and Sam could tell something was wrong. This arrangement with Barnes was causing Steve to be self destructive, even more so than usual. He was reckless, both in the field and in public and it was beginning to affect his ability to be Captain America. But more so than that, they were worried about their friend. Steve was falling apart at the seams and it wouldn't be long until everyone saw it.

Of course they had brought it up to him; tried to help him realise what he was doing to himself but he brushed them off, attempting to convince them that he was fine, even though they all knew it wasn't true. So this time, she'd try a new tactic. She was an assassin for God's

sake, she could do this.

"Rogers, wanna spar?" She approached him as he bashed the life out of a punching bag, switched off from his surroundings.

"Sure"

They stepped into the ring and circled each other before going in for the attack. It only took a few moments for Natasha to pin Steve to the ground, he was off and distracted making it an easy win.

"Rogers I'm worried about you"

Steve snorted. "I'm fine Nat"

"No. No you're not"

"Well no ones here to stop me so it's not your problem"

"You're my friend. And as your friend I can tell you that this thing you have with Barnes? It's unhealthy and needs to stop"

"I can handle myself Nat. What's the worse that can happen?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt"

"I appreciate it Nat I do but I'm a big boy I'll be okay. I promise"

Natasha hummed. For now she'd leave it alone. He'd come to her when he's ready. She knew he would.

And then, well then Thanos happened...


	2. Chapter 1

"...Steve?"

His name. His name was the last thing Bucky had said before he lost him AGAIN. Before his whole world got turned upside down AGAIN.

They had lost, Thanos had succeeded, he had wiped out exactly 50% of all living things. So what now? Well for starters he has to figure out why he won't stop throwing up!

Since the battle, a month ago, Steve had locked himself away in his Brooklyn apartment, not daring to speak to anyone. Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, T'Challa, Tony. All of them; gone never even having the chance to say goodbye. And lord knows where Clint is, he may still be out there but was yet to contact them anyhow.

Now back at the compound, the remainder of the team tried to devise a plan whilst simultaneously dealing with their loss. Natasha especially was taking it roughly, trying to take on all of the responsibility by herself when in reality Steve knew it was his fault. He was their Captain, their leader the weight of their failure lay on his shoulders not theirs.

The urge to vomit interrupted his thoughts as Steve found himself racing to the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He heaved up the last of the water he had drunk before standing, legs shaking as he rest his weight on the toilet seat. Eventually he made it to the sink, brushing his teeth and washing his face before looking into the mirror. His face was pale and clammy, the usual healthy glow replaced with adull, ghostly complexion. His stomach churned and with the urge to vomit gone, he found himself hungry and craving peanut butter and jelly? Well that's strange.

"Steve? Friday called me, is everything okay?" Natasha knocked on the door and Steve froze. If he answered now, she'd be sure to know something was up. And then he'd have to explain and he wasn't ready for that. Not yet.

"I'm fine, Nat. You didn't have to come all the way here"

"I'm coming in" Was the last thing she said before barging in. "Jesus, Steve what's going on? Don't think I've not noticed you've been sick recently"

"I told you I'm fine"

"You know... Pepper was experiencing the same thing before she found out she was pregnant. Could you be..."

"No."

"Steve don't lie. I know you and Barnes were still sleeping together. I know you lied to me and we can talk about that later but right now we need to figure out what's wrong."

"Nat I can't be pregnant"

"I'll go to the store, buy you a test. Stay here and please eat something, even if you still feel sick"

"I feel fine"

"Steve" She glared, running her manicured fingers through his short blonde hair. "It'll be okay"

For a while, Steve's mind ran through old memories of them, new and old. He remembered moving in with Bucky after his mother's death, he remembered the first double date Bucky had set them up on but most importantly he remembered their first kiss. How Steve had been ill and they were unsure whether or not he would make it through the night. But Bucky had stayed with him anyways and on his near death bed confessed his love and they shared their first kiss. It was just as magical as he remembered it being.

When she came back half an hour later, she said nothing as she placed a few of the home pregnancy tests on the counter. "I'll be outside"

She whispered, kissing his forehead before leaving.

Steve took a deep breath. And then another, and then another before grabbing the test and doing as the instructions told him. He'd seen videos on social media of men and women announcing they're pregnant to their partners. He'd seen videos of their reactions to those two little lines that change their lives forever and yet nothing, nothing compared to the feeling of overwhelming joy (and nerves) when he got the results. No Bucky was not there with him, he never got the chance to tell him how much he loved him (still) and yet now here he was with this little piece of him growing inside of him.

Opening the bathroom door, he stepped into his room and smiled at Natasha who sat on his crumpled up bed.

"So..."

"I'm going to be a dad"

She said nothing, just wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and rubbed his back. "What do you want to do?"

"I know Bucky and I made a mistake. We were irresponsible and I thought we took the right safety precautions but clearly we didn't. But I won't take my mistakes out on my baby. Even if he isn't here to help me, I can do this"

"And you'll have us"

"Course"

"So, how far along are you?"

"I honestly have no idea"

"Steve you dog" she smirked.

"We didn't exactly keep track of when we did it"

"It'd be kind of weird if you did seeing as you were fuck buddies for over two years"

"God, it didn't feel like two years"

"I can't believe you're having a baby. You know Natasha is a good name, if it's a girl"

"I'll consider it. Guess it'd be nice to name her after her godmother"

"Really?" She looked shocked. But honestly Steve couldn't think of anyone he'd rather have as his child's godmother.

"Of course"

"So what now?"

Wasn't that the million dollar question. "I guess I need a doctor. And I need to tell the others"

Natasha's phone buzzed, grabbing both of their attentions. "Shit. We have to go"

"What's going on?"

"I'll explain on the way"

Tony. He was alive. Albeit shaken and bruised from the battle but nevertheless he was here. Pepper was in tears, lying over his bedside with one hand on her swollen stomach and the other hand in hand with his.

"How is he?"

"Captain, you surprised me. He's going to be okay. Bruce checked him over and he'll be awake soon."

"That's good. I'm glad. And how're you?"

"Better now that he's here. I really thought I lost him, I couldn't imagine doing this without him"

Steve's mouth went dry.

"Steve" Natasha interrupted. "We've got a lead, we're heading out. You're staying"

"But-"

"No buts, you're staying. I'll bring him back."

"I need him"

"I know" she gave him a sympathetic smile before heading out, leaving him and Pepper alone with Tony unconscious on the hospital bed.

"Is everything alright, Captain?"

"Pepper please call me Steve."

"Okay, Steve. I know that we aren't that close but you can talk to me. Any friend of Tony's is a friend of mine. Even if you don't get along all the time and I know he'd never admit it, Tony admires you."

"I'm pregnant"

"Oh."

Steve chuckled. "I found out earlier today. Still trying to process it, you know"

"Of course. How far along are you?"

"I'm not too sure. I haven't seen a doctor yet"

"I can give you to the card to another doctor I know. Her name is Doctor Williams, she's great"

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I'd be happy to help"

"Thank you Pepper."

"Anytime. It'll be nice to go through this with somebody who understands. Can I... can I ask who the other father is?"

Steve blushed. He knew he'd have to tell everyone who the father of his child was eventually and yet there was still partly shame at the nature of his and Bucky's relationship. In fact, he felt quite pathetic being in love with a man who only wanted him as nothing but a pretty hole to put his dick in whenever he felt like it. "Bucky is the father" he admitted.

"I didn't know you were together. Oh god I'm so sorry for what I said earlier, of course you can do this by yourself I just meant that.."

"It's okay Pepper" Steve chuckled. "We weren't together like that at the time but I'm still happy to have and raise this baby"

Steve left the room and immediately called the number Pepper had given him. Dr Williams booked him in for an appointment the following day to see how far along he was (although he suspected he was further along that he had originally thought).The team came back a few hours later, shattered and exhausted with the same look of failure as the first time they had failed against the Titan.

"They're really gone" Natasha sighed. "We couldn't bring them back, Steve I'm sorry."

"We'll figure it out, Nat. I promise" Steve paled; vomit had risen in his throat and he once again felt like he was about to throw up. Oh god, not in front of everyone, please.

"Steve, are you okay? You look like you're about to hurl"

Steve hummed unconvincingly."I'm fine" Nope.

"Steve are you about to-" Natasha didn't get to finish her sentence as Steve turned away from the group and hurled all over the wooden floor.

"That's nasty" Rhodey shuddered.

Carol scrunched her nose up and turned to look at Thor. "Anyone want to explain what just happened?"

Steve wiped his mouth, and faced his team. "Ill clean that up" he looked to Natasha and grimaced. "Don't say it"

"I told you so" She didn't miss a beat.

"I know"

"Cap, what's going on?" Rhodey asked, confused and a little concerned for his commanding officer.

"I'm pregnant"

"Congratulations, Captain. You are a mighty warrior and will be a magnificent father" Thor smiled sadly. They had all lost someone, but Thor had lost his kingdom, his friends and his brother, all in the attack.

"Thank you Thor"

"Congrats Cap" 

"Thank you, Rhodes"

"I hate to break up this moment but what do we do now?" Carol sighed, looking around the group.

"I don't know" Steve replied.


	3. Chapter 2

_One month later..._

Steve awoke as he did most mornings, throwing his guts up (and crying into the toilet but who really needed to know that?) and holding his stomach as it churned.

"The things you're making me do" he groaned, clutching the material of his shirt. He peeked at the time before groaning once more. It was already 8:30 (he had never slept in this late before but his pregnancy was doing weird things to him) and his appointment with Dr Williams was at 9:20. As he picked himself up off of the floor to brush his teeth, Steve found himself wondering what it would be like to have Bucky here with him. Probably smothering him and bringing him glasses of water; rubbing his back whilst he threw up.

He managed to successfully eat a bowl of oatmealafterwards without it coming back up; a small victory but a victory nonetheless, when he thought he saw a figure standing in the hallway. No, stop it. Bucky is dead, you couldn't save him. Bucky was always in his thoughts, maybe now his mind was just playing tricks on him, that had to be it.

At 9, Steve headed out of his Manhattan apartment and towards Dr Williams office in New York. Her office was as expected; sterile and neat and yet there was something so familiar about this, having spent half of his previous life either in a hospital or in bed. Dr Williams was a small, lean woman with neat blonde hair pulled back into a bun and glasses resting on her crooked nose.

"So, Captain Rogers, what can I do for you today?"

"Steve is just fine, I took a home pregnancy test two days ago and it was positive. I've been throwing up a lot and having these really strange cravings"

"Okay so they are all symptoms of early pregnancy, any others that you could recognise?" She smiled, jotting things down on her clipboard as he spoke.

"Well...th..there's been some cramping and uh bleeding I guess?"

"Again, perfectly normal symptom of early pregnancy although if the cramps get worse or you feel as though they are unusual please let me know as soon as possible so we can have a look, okay?"

Steve nodded.

"So I'll do a pelvic exam and ultrasound with you today as well as prescribing you your vitamins which you must take everyday in the morning on an empty stomach."

Steve put his legs in the stirrups and tried not to wince as Dr Williams checked everything was okay, internally.

"Could your partner not be here today?"

His eyes burned with tears at the reminder that no, Bucky wasn't here with him. Bucky would never get to meet their child all because of his failure.

"No he uh, he died in the snap"

"Oh I'm so sorry, that was so mindless of me" she apologised.

"No it's okay you didn't know"

"It's been a rough few weeks hasn't it? Trying to get back to somewhat normal"

"That's one way to put it"

"If it's okay with you I could give you some pamphlets on dealing with the loss of your partner during pregnancy. If you feel like it, I think you may really benefit from talking to others in a similar position to you"

"I don't think I can just yet" Steve sighed. He looked down at his hands and once again imagined what it would be like to have Bucky here with him, holding his hands and smiling, producing those adorable little dimples in his cheeks.

"Whenever you're ready" she smiled sadly. After taking a moment to pause she slapped off her latex gloves and sanitised her hands. "Everything looks good so far, I'll give you a moment to get dressed and we'll do an ultrasound" and then she left, leaving Steve alone with his thoughts.

" _So, we're having a baby"_

Steve turned sharply to the corner of the room, trembling. "You're not real"

" _Of course not Stevie; I'm dead"_

"I'm so sorry Buck. I tried to save you and I failed AGAIN"

_"Shh baby it's okay. I'm here I promise" Bucky cupped Steve's cheeks and rubbed them tenderly._

"I'm having your baby, Buck" Tears glistened in his eyes.

" _Yea, you are."_ Bucky smirked, _"Now get dressed she's coming back"_

Steve threw on the rest of his clothes and looked back to the corner where Bucky had stood only seconds before. He was dreaming, surely? Bucky wasn't really here, he couldn't have been.

"Steve is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, Doctor thank you"

"Great, let's get started with the ultrasound then shall we? Now this may be a little cold"

Steve flinched at the unfamiliar touch. Dr Williams was right the gel was freezing against his stomach. "Okay, everything looks great, you're measuring at- wow okay so it looks like you're already 14 weeks so you've just entered the second trimester. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

"Yes please" Steve nodded, and once again he was crying.

" _Stevie look. Look at our baby"_ Bucky squeezed his hand. " _His little hands and feet"_

Steve was amazed. This little thing, this baby was growing inside of him. Him and Bucky and made this beautiful creation and he wasn't even here to enjoy it.

"Right now I'm putting your due date at the 10th of March but that's subject to change"

Steve gasped.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry" Steve blushed as he wiped the gel from his stomach and sat up. "Thats his.. my partners birthday"

"Well sounds to me like a miracle. Just go to the front desk to pick up your prescription and make an appointment for four weeks time and I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Thank you Doctor"

Unlocking his apartment, Steve took a moment to look around at the small space. It was nothing like his floor at what was once the Avengers tower; it was plain, basic but it was where he would raise his child and who could ask for more than that?

" _Watcha thinking about, baby?"_

"Can anyone else see you?"

" _Nope_ "

"How can I see you?" Honestly he was still 99% sure this was a dream but as he reached out to pinch his arm, he felt the warm touch of Bucky's hand.

" _Because even though I'm not here, you have a part of me inside you, don't you?"_

"I miss you so much. Are you real?"

_"I told you Stevie. I'm dead remember? I'm a figure of your imagination. This is your brains way of coping"_

"Oh" Steve's heart fell. So he was going crazy too, great! His thoughts were cut off from the sound of knocking.

" _Go on, answer it"_

Steve walked to his front door and peered through the peep hole. It was Pepper, what was she doing here? How did she even know where he lived?

"Hi Pepper" he greeted.

"Hi, Steve. How are you?"

"I'm good thank you, and yourself?" Enough with the niceties, what was she here for?

"You had your appointment earlier, right? With Dr Williams? How was it?"

"Oh right, it was okay thank you, baby's good"

"I'm so glad." She smiled earnestly. Despite being six months pregnant, Pepper still wore her business clothes, albeit a little looser around certain areas but Steve could see the excitement at her impending motherhood. "If I am being honest Steve, I didn't come here too see how you are. Well I did but I -Tony and I- we wanted to ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"Would you like to stay with us for a while?"

Okay, so he didn't expect that...

"You're so far away from everyone here and I know that you're struggling with James's death and now you're having a baby we don't want you to be alone"

"Oh Pepper, it's a really thoughtful gesture but I'm alright, really I wouldn't want to impose"

"You wouldn't be! But to be honest it would be nice to have another person around that understands what it's really like. You know that Tony isn't the most..."

"I get it."

"It's completely up to you, you can call us anytime to let us know the answer." She turned to leave, but Steve called out her name, making her turn back around.

"Would I really not be imposing?"

"Of course not, you and I, I get we haven't been the closest but we need to stick together, yes?"

"Okay. Okay ill stay with you"

"Great. We'll discuss the details later yes? I hate to rush away but I have a meeting with a SI investor" she smiled, checking her watch.

"Alright. Thank you Pepper"

"Anytime"

And with that Steve was once again alone.


End file.
